14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR
DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD
The antidote for battling all of the pain and hardships in
the world is to practice and demonstrate love to our children. What better
month to do this in than the month of LOVE, February. So to get you jump
started in showing your child love, here are tips for each of the first 14 days
of the month of February. And if you don’t find this article until well after
February 1st, it’s never too late to start it.
DAY 1: HIDE LOVE NOTES OR SURPRISES – Toddlers to teens love
to be surprised. Hide a small valentine, an encouraging note, or a small
valentine chocolate somewhere for them to find each day leading up to
Valentine’s Day. Get creative and mix it up.
You could also leave a note each day in one place that contains clues to
helping them find what you’ve hidden.
DAY 2: READ A SPECIAL BOOK – Find a child’s illustrated book
that sends a message of love and commit to reading it to your children every
night, leading up to Valentine’s Day. My
favorite is the book LOVE YOU FOREVER by Robert Munsch and illustrated by
Sheila McGraw. It sends the message that
I’ll always love you unconditionally, no matter how you behave and well into
your adult years.
DAY 3: PLAN A PARTY – Help your child plan a V-Day party
with all of their friends. For one activity at the party, provide a
personalized mailbox (or bag) for each child. On blank slips of paper, have
each child write down words that describe what they like about each of the
other kids, one child per slip of paper. They will deposit them in each other’s’
mailboxes.
DAY 4: BE AFFECTIONATE WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER – Teach
your children about love by expressing love for your significant other in front
of them. Children who have healthy models of affection around them are likely
to recreate in their adulthood what they witnessed as children. When your
significant other and you argue or fight in front of the children, be sure and
let the kids see the two of you makeup.
DAY 5: SCHEDULE A DATE – Schedule a special Valentine date
with each of your children. Put it on your calendar and tell your child so they
will have something to look forward to. Scheduling in these dates ahead of time
ensures they will happen. Then everything else that is less important can fill
in around them. Why not schedule a date with your significant other as
well? Do this every Sunday night for the
week to come.
DAY 6: FRAME A PICTURE OF THE TWO OF YOU – Take a picture of
you and your child, frame it, and then give it to your child to put in his or her
room on the dresser or night table. If
you have more than one child, create one for each of them. For an older child, put a picture of the two
of you in a locket that the child can wear.
This will also help calm a child who feels anxious when being away from
the parent.
DAY 7: THE ENCOURAGEMENT FEAST – Use the ENCOURAGEMENT FEAST
exercise with your family. Each person takes a turn in the center of the
circle, facing each person who states one thing they love about the person in
the center. Before the person in the center steps back into the circle, they
must state one thing they love about them self. Then someone else steps into
the circle. See the video http://bit.ly/xsueNx.
DAY 8: GIVE 100% OF YOUR ATTENTION – When your child
approaches you to get your attention, stop what you’re doing, get to your
child’s eye level, silence your mind-chatter, and remain completely quiet while
your child speaks. Nothing feels better to a child (or an adult) who has
something to say, than the sense of getting 100% of that adults attention in
that moment.
DAY 9: MOVIE NIGHT – Have a movie night with your
child(ren), complete with big pillows to snuggle up with and a big bowl of
popcorn. The one difference in making this night special is that the movie
being featured will be the home movies you have of your child(ren)!
DAY 10: CRAFT PROJECT – Using a family meeting,
have everyone create a craft project that represents love to them. Provide a wide selection of construction
paper and craft supplies and allow your children to create whatever comes to
mind. Put the creations on display for
everyone to see and enjoy, and photograph them to look at for many years to
come.
DAY 11: SHARE HOW YOU LOVE YOURSELF – Create teachable moments
with your child when they are open to learning, by explaining (and
demonstrating) what you do to love yourself. This might be a tough exercise for
some, but teaching a child to love himself starts by setting a healthy example
they can see.
DAY 12: MAILBOXES –
In a family meeting have everyone
make and decorate a mailbox using any household craft items. On slips of paper, have everyone write short
love notes to everyone at the table as a practice run and then insert them in
the appropriate mailboxes. Have everyone
hang their mailboxes on their bedroom door knobs for accepting mail whenever
someone desires to write a note.
DAY 13 FIND OUT WHAT MAKES THEM FEEL LOVED – Ask your child what he likes others to do to or for him that makes him
feel loved. Dr. Gary Chapman, in his
book THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES OF CHILDREN (Northfield Publishing, 1997),
explains how each individual feels loved in different ways; receiving gifts,
hearing words of affirmation, acts of kindness, or touch. Ask your child which
one makes him feel loved.
DAY 14: COMPOSE A POEM FOR YOUR CHILD – Compose a poem about your child or describing how much you love her.
Print if off on special preprinted paper with a border that can be purchased at
office supply stores. Frame it and hang it on your child’s bedroom wall. You
could even include the child’s picture or her foot or handprints if you had
them done earlier. Sign it and read it to her nightly.
Bill Corbett has a degree in clinical psychology
and is the author of the award winning book “Love, Limits, & Lessons: A
Parent’s Guide to Raising Cooperative Kids,” in English and in Spanish. He is a Massachusetts native, happily married
with three grown children, three grandchildren, and three step children. You can visit his Web site
www.CooperativeKids.com for further information and parenting advice.
