As a child, I was always late. I lost things. I was boisterous and talked too much. I always said things I later regretted. Teachers wrote me off as “smart but lazy and immature.” They thought I had no desire to work hard at anything and had no concern for my future. I was a disappointment to family members and close friends for not living up to my potential.
No one considered any underlying problem. I was smart. And I was a girl.
High school was easy. I never studied. The only low grades I received were in subjects that required reading and writing.
When I got to college, I crashed and burned. No discipline. No study skills. No one to hold me accountable. I barely graduated.
After college, I worked in retail for 14 years, during which I married and had two kids. I dreaded working holidays and weekends. But as a manager, I wouldn’t have to. So I entered an 18-month Branch Manager training program. To my surprise, they promoted me within 9 months. I went from trainee to running the branch, with my own trainee. All while still trying to complete my own training!
I couldn’t keep up. Between overwhelm and imposter syndrome, I sabotaged my job. They fired me. My managers pleaded with me to help save my job, but I felt I didn’t deserve to be a Branch manager because I couldn’t keep up.
Around this time, I discovered what adult ADHD was and that I had it. I was 37. I spent months grieving for those years I wish I had back. I spent the next 13 years spinning my wheels. I had no idea how to manage my ADHD, with and without meds, while trying to be a good wife, mother, and employee. I couldn’t find the right therapist that could help me. They focused on “underlying issues.” Or they imposed strategies that didn’t work. Some straight out didn’t believe in ADHD.
That’s when I realized what I wanted to do. I wanted to help people like me. I wanted to provide accessible resources and care. I wanted to give people expert, correct information. And I wanted to let them know THEY ARE OK. I wanted to make the world aware of ADHD and that THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.
In 2018 things started to turn around. I found a good therapist. My company allowed employees to form groups based on their commonalities. So I started a group for employees with ADHD. And then I found ADDA. I joined to access the webinars. And to join the African American/Black Diaspora Peer Support group. It helped TREMENDOUSLY. It was so much easier to search on ADDA’s website than on YouTube.
Still deciding which path to take to help others with ADHD, I started volunteering for ADDA. They immediately invited me to join the Workplace Committee and the Education Committee. Working with these committees allowed me to better serve my group at work. I was able to host more educated and meaningful conversations.
It also prompted me to deliver a presentation to my company’s HR dept to increase ADHD awareness. I even pursued adding it to their Leader’s Class on Mental Health. In 2019, I attended my first International Conference on ADHD. I met ADDA members and people whose webinars I had watched. I connected with so many people, and it felt like home.
Being a part of ADDA has helped me gain confidence in myself and allowed my good ADHD traits to shine. I am carrying out my mission. As a soon-to-be certified ADHD Life Coach and an ADDA board member, I am realizing my goal. I’m increasing awareness and providing resources to people with ADHD.
Thank you, ADDA.
